Noon: To protest barbaric U.S. exploitation of women, dine at Hooters, accompanied by writer Noam Chomsky.
1 p.m.: Tour Midwestern town of Smallville. Visit meteor site where alien boy is said to possess superpowers.
2 p.m.: Meet with political prisoner O.J. Simpson. Exchange autographed sabers.
I'm betting Ahmadinejad wishes...
He'd stuck to his original itinerary...
